Change Fatigue: Flip Teams From Burnout to Buy-In

M client, Jenny Magic, who just published her first book, Change Fatigue: Flip Teams From Burnout to Buy-In, with her co-author Melissa Breker.

I was lucky enough to edit the book, a fascinating take on small-scale change management, available here. Feels so good to hold it in my hands!

A little backstory: Jenny came to me in late December 2022 with an outline and somewhere around 7,000 words written. Less than five months later, she and Melissa published a full-length book!

That is lightning fast in the world of books, even self-published books. I want to share some tips for how she and Melissa did it and what I learned from them.

Here's a short interview I did with Jenny (captions included).

1. Jenny and Melissa wanted to finish the manuscript within 10 weeks, but they set aside a lot of timein order to make it happen. They both had a realistic expectation of how much time it would take, and made that time available.

2. They had the information and outline, but they needed the stories that make a book accessible to an audience. Even an expert audience absorbs a book better if it contains "real-world examples," AKA, stories. That's where I came in--to identify areas of the book that needed more stories. A great partnership!

3. They knew theiraudience. Jenny kept asking herself what her reader needed to know so that they could hire her. Her continuing to return to that question brought a clarity that made it easy to know what to include in the book and what to leave out. (Then we just had to organize it.)

Jenny also told me that she’d had the idea for the book for years, which was part of the reason it came together so fast. It’d been marinating, simmering, percolatin’--any and all of the slow-cook metaphors.

It was, let’s say, 80 percent done in her head. But 80 percent done is not DONE, and she knew the final 20 percent would continue to elude her unless she hired some help.

If any of this sounds like it might be you...

In addition to editing, I offer a Manuscript Review.

Get specific recommendations for how to complete that last 20 percent. The manuscript review is also a great way to get a taste of working with me without committing to the full editing package.

Details here.​

​Congratulations again to Jenny and Melissa!

Writing Feedback: Dos and Don'ts

As you work on your piece of writing, you probably crave feedback. Feedback can be very helpful! But, this post isn't about that. :p

This post is about whom NOT to ask. Yes, there are so many ways to give terrible writing feedback that is unhelpful or worse, discouraging. Even though I’ve read thousands of terrible edits and review comments, I can fit almost all “bad feedback” into three buckets. Just three! These are the three types of people not to ask for feedback.

​They are:

1.The Cheerleader This reviewer loves everything you do. They just want you to keep going, keep writing, keep shining! You got this! It’s invaluable to have support from the Cheerleader. Their hype is irreplaceable! But! The Cheerleader can’t offer specifics. “You’re awesome!” It’s a fact, but it’s not specific.

2. The Underminer This reader wants you to fail. Seems obvious: don’t show your work to this person. Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, a lot of us DO show our work to this person. When we do, we find their comments (intentionally or not) are designed to make your work feel like a struggle. Discouraging.

3. The Well-Intentioned Amateur This person isn’t an Underminer because they don’t want to see you fail. They just have a lot of opinions and no expertise. #sorrynotsorry. They offer scattershot feedback on everything from the plot to the characters to basic grammar mistakes!

Do you recognize these people?

If you’ve ever given up on a piece of writing after getting feedback from a colleague, friend, or family member, chances are you’ve encountered at least one of these readers.

So. Should you just stop showing your work to anyone?

Here's what I think: consider doing the same thing you’d do if you’ve tried to get friends to help you move, dye your hair, or fix your car… and it hasn’t worked out.

Hire a pro.

… I have taken my 20 years of editing and review experienced and packaged it into

3-2-1 Review

3 - You submit between 500-1500 words—up to 3 pages

2 - I return to you 2 sets of feedback: Genuine comments affirming the elements that are working. Constructive questions to ask yourself as you continue to develop the work.

1- in 1 screencast video

​Get more info and sign up here.​

​3-2-1 Review is for you if:​

• you have written at least 500 words of original prose

• you are feeling stuck or

• you just want a second set of eyes to confirm what you already know is valuable about the work.

Get specific, actionable feedback on your writing from a professional. Sign up here.

Questions? Email me at maggie@maggiefrankhsu.com.

Writing Accountability (without the shame)

How do I do what I say I’m going to do? Without:

• beating myself up for missing a goal

• comparing myself to other people who seem to be “on track”

• quitting… again

​Accountability without shame is not just a “nice” thing or a way to love ourselves–though it is those things. It’s also a way to make it easier to succeed. Because the quickest way for me to decide to quit on a goal is to set an unrealistic expectation and then beat myself up when I don’t meet it.

Unrealistic expectations, for me, are either:

1. going from never doing something (say, writing) to vowing to do it every day, or

2. going from doing something every day (like, say, drinking coffee) to saying I’ll not drink it all.

​It is so very easy to fail at a goal like this. So, what is the alternative?

Writing accountability without shame. Setting reasonable goals. Maybe sometimes not meeting them! And then, when we don’t meet them, adjusting them to make them even easier to meet.

Accountability without shame is our practice in Time to Write. In fact, one of the main reasons I started Time to Write is to foster accountability without shame in myself, and in you, too.

What is Time to Write?

Time to Write is a free, weekly writing accountability group.

I want you to come because you’ll get one hour per week of focused writing time, but also because I will, too!

Time to Write happens every Wednesday on Zoom, but you don’t need to join the Zoom every week. Set a sustainable schedule for yourself. If you do, you will be amazed at what we can produce when we agree, together, that we will focus and be present with our writing in the same (virtual) room for one hour.

We will all get so much more done than any of us can do on our own.

If you’re nodding along, or even if you’re skeptical but curious

​Click this link to join Time to Write.​

Time to Write is and will always be free,

as long as you stay subscribed to my email list. Time to Write is a space for you and me to get writing done, every week.

Come with a work in progress, or come with no idea of what to write about! (Each week I will provide an optional writing prompt that you can use to get yourself started.)

When you sign up for free writing accountability, you will receive a follow-up email with the Zoom info.

​Join here.​

No head, all hands

Sometimes I read somewhere about the importance of play in our lives, and I think a bit sheepishly that even when I was a kid, I didn’t really... play that much. I was asthmatic and unathletic, and I was indifferent to the outdoors. (Don't worry, I learned to love being outside later.)

​Still, when I hear creative advice about how we as grown-ups should play, an image appears in my mind of my neighbor’s front lawn, where we kids were playing after school. A bunch of the girls spontaneously lined up to do cartwheels, and when it was my turn, well...

But over time I've realized there are other ways to play, ways that even a serious little first-grader like me could get down with.

Collage is one of those ways. Collage is a “no head, all hands” activity. (Gardening is like this, too. For some people, it's baking, or tinkering with cars.)

A friend of mine recently told me she had been making collages as a way to discern whether she likes something or whether she thinks other people would think it looks "nice." In other words, to prioritize her preferences over pleasing others.

That clicked for me. I have spent various periods of my adulthood putting "I like that" low on the list of why I oughta choose a thing (a blouse, a job, even [years ago] a boyfriend).

Collage is a "no head, all hands" activity that allows me to practice putting "I like this" at the top of my list of reasons for choosing something.

As I make a collage, I also love the feeling of my ears softening as my brow unfurrows. Do you ever get that feeling?

That’s how I know I’m in a “no head, all hands” activity. It’s sensual. Who doesn’t need more of that.

Hello, Time to Write Members!

Thanks for signing up for Time to Write, a one-hour writing session on Zoom that happens every Wednesday at 9:30 a.m. PT, beginning January 11!

Time to Write is and will always remain free as long as you are a member of my email list. If you're not a member, join here.

Here's a little about who I am, so that you know more about how (and why) I am facilitating Time to Write. I want you to get the most out of the experience! I’m a writer and editor, who has worked with hundreds of writers over the years. I'm also in the middle of writing my second book.

I self-published my first book, Be About Something in 2020, which I wrote to help people who wanted to write but needed help figuring out what they wanted to say and how they wanted to say it.

​Ways I work with writers:

• I am a ghostwriter, which you can read more about here.

• ​I help first-time nonfiction book authors create their book outline before they start writing.​

• I review and edit book proposals and I edit finished manuscripts. (If you need info about those services, email maggie at maggiefrankhsu dot com.)

• I send a weekly newsletter with tips and resources for your writing practice.

Before I started my own business, I was a freelance writer and editor, and worked at magazines like Gourmet, Martha Stewart Living, and ESPN the Magazine. I graduated from the Columbia School of Journalism in 2006 with a Master’s. I also worked in online marketing for eight years, and I use these two aspects of my experience to help my clients identify their audience as a way to sharpen their writing.

Altogether I lived in New York for about 12 years. But I grew up in a suburb of Los Angeles called Alhambra (fun fact: the municipal park is called Granada Park.) (If you don’t know why that fact is fun, google “Alhambra and Granada.”)

I now live in San Diego with my husband, Alan, two children (8 and 5) and two dogs (14 and 1). :D

***

Where to hear more from me:

• ​Here’s an interview I did about perfectionism being the enemy of a sustaining writing practice. ​

• Here’s an interview I did with Christy Harrison, where we talked (among others things) about working at Gourmet, and also about how raising small children burned through the last few fucks I had to give.

• Check out my video series for writers called “Rookie Mistakes” on Instagram.

• Subscribe to my Newsletter, Momsplaining.

I’m looking forward to seeing you at Time to Write! ​

- Maggie

Time to Write Format: Wednesdays, time 9:30 am PT

1. You log on to Zoom.

2. At the start of the hour, I greet participants and provide a writing prompt for those who are unsure of how to begin. I also post the prompt in the chat.

3. We write. (You may come late. You may leave early. I will let you in at any time during the hour—don’t skip because you’re late or you have to leave early.)

4. Use Zoom chat to message me privately during Time to Write if you have a question.

5. A few minutes before the hour ends, I will gather us to close. At this time, up to two participants are invited to read what they wrote. I will close the hour with lines from a writer I’m admiring that week.

That time I appeared on Jeopardy!

Hi!

I appeared on Jeopardy! yesterday.

And even though I was excited to share the news, I was also hesitant.

After all, I lost.

I didn’t just lose, I was blown out of the water by the reigning champ. I got creamed. It was a shellacking.

So, I very seriously considered not telling anyone.

Just a few hours after I shot the episode, as we were driving home, I could hear a voice in my head saying,

What is the point of telling everyone you got steamrolled on national television?

I didn’t have an answer at first. Luckily, I have a supportive partner and friends who all said the same thing when I told them I was embarrassed.

“Nonsense! The point is that you were on the show! We are so proud of you!”

When I got home from the taping, my 5-year-old said, “It’s OK you didn’t win, Mommy.”

Even the host Ken Jennings, who gave us contestants a little pep talk before rehearsal, said, “Every one of you should be very proud of yourselves. Over 100,000 people applied this season, and no more than 450 will appear on the show. It’s an amazing accomplishment.”

***

So, yes, I could have kept it to myself, but then I wouldn’t have gotten to tell you that Ken Jennings gave ME a pep talk.

Or that he has a delightfully dry wit. (Hit reply and ask if you want to hear my favorite joke he told.)

I wouldn’t be able to tell you how unexpectedly fun it was to meet the other contestants the morning of the taping. If you watched the episode, you know I competed against a guy who had an actual, solvable crossword puzzle as the “groom’s cake” at his wedding.

So, you know. Nerds! My people!

Also, our “green room” was the Wheel of Fortune set. So we got to sit very, very close to the wheel and be told very, very sternly not to even THINK about spinning it.

***

I guess now that it’s all over, I would tell my mean inner voice that the point isn’t to celebrate the outcome, but the result.

What’s the difference? …

I studied for Jeopardy! for months. Besides brushing up on Shakespeare, Greek, Roman, and Norse mythology, astronomy, chemistry, geography, and memorizing all 43 presidents, 50 state capitals (and 50 state nicknames (!)), I also watched old episodes of the show (shoutout to Pluto.tv), found archived clues online, played 12 clues a day via Alexa, practiced buzzing in by playing video games, and combed through blog posts about wagering strategy.

I was terrified that the gameday pressure would get to me, so I played Jeopardy! episodes on my earbuds while I climbed hills on my bike, hoping the increase in heart rate would mimic the stressful Jeopardy! taping conditions.

You know what? None of that worked. I got outplayed. I knew when they booked me that no amount of preparation could guarantee the outcome I wanted.

I could work my brain’s buns off 😁, but I didn’t control the time of day we shot, nor the categories, nor my opponents.

The only thing I could control was whether or not to show up.

The outcome was a match loss. But the result?

The result was that I proved to myself again that the only way I can open myself to the possibility of wild success is to open myself to the possibility of disappointing failure.

The result was that I celebrated my whole-hearted attempt, and so did my friends and family from all over the country.

***

And in that way, my experience with Jeopardy! was a time-compressed, low-stakes version of my writing journey.

Over the past few years, I’ve opened myself up to wild success by accepting failure and showing up again and again. I've written a lot -- some pieces have been successful, but I’ve written so much material that went nowhere. So much stuff that no one besides me has seen. So much stuff that no one has wanted to publish.

But my attempts are whole-hearted now. I can’t control the outcome, but I can continue to show up. The “point” is the the decision to keep taking risks.

- Maggie

PS: I appreciate you all and hope you have a very happy new year! I’ll be back with you next week with my regular content: tips and inspiration for writers.

See you in 2023.

​https://maggiefrankhsu.com​

On writing: Allowing the magic to unfold naturally

Once I told a French person that we keep our Camembert in the fridge. That, ahem, actually, you can’t buy unrefrigerated cheese in any grocery store in the U.S. (None I know of, anyway.)

She said:
“A cheese is alive. The refrigerator is a murder of the taste of a cheese.”*

…

A few years later, I was in a writing class.

A fellow student (not the French person) was telling the class about the story she’d written, that she was about to read aloud. Her eyes flashed and she grinned and chatted and held our attention.

That’s why it was so striking when, as soon as she began to read her piece, she turned into a refrigerated cheese.

She read beautifully loud and clear. But the writing itself did not reflect the aliveness of her speaking pattern nor her idiom. The charming way she threw words around in conversation? Nowhere to be found.

I say that not to criticize her but because she taught me something. As writers, we can make mistakes, but we can also refuse to let things happen.

This fellow student had it all inside her - anyone could see that from the way she spoke about the piece before she read it. But she hadn’t allowed it onto the page.

Who knows why? Who knows if she even noticed? But she put herself in the fridge, which drained all her yumminess away.

…

Stay out of the fridge, is what I’m saying.

How? You can’t force yourself to be natural. “Forced naturalness” is a contradiction in terms.

But there are ways to recognize you’re putting yourself in the fridge, and ways to step out of the fridge once you’re in there.

1. You know you’re putting yourself in the fridge if you’re editing yourself before the words go on the page. Let the words out first. I swear to you, you will be able to delete words you don’t like later.

​
2. Open up an email draft and write to a particular friend, colleague, person you know. Don’t send it - just have that person in your mind’s eye as you write. That can loosen you up a bit. Just don’t pick anyone who is judgy and shuts you down. And if you don’t know anyone who doesn’t do those things, pick your pet. ;)

3. In other areas of your life, practice letting yourself. Let yourself ________.

(I can’t fill in the blank, but you can.) What don’t you let yourself do? Start letting yourself. Just for a minute. You can go back to restraining and restricting yourself later.

Hugs,

Maggie

​
PS: Please continue to send me your Rookie Mistakes. Can you think of rookie writing mistakes you made in the past that you don’t make (as much) anymore? Hit reply and let me know. And thanks to those of you who replied last week, we are on our way to my goal of collecting 100.

Our connection is meaningful to me and I thank you for it.

​
* If you want to know more about the raging opinions on cheese in the fridge, you can find some good stuff here and here ​

Writer, are you taking time to listen to yourself?

I was dawdling in my inbox when I came across this line in Esther Perel’s newsletter:

“We have to remember,” my peer told me, “that when people aren’t listening, it’s because they don’t feel heard.”

...

Great thought, right? It applies to our writing efforts in lots of ways, but here’s one way you might not think of:

Do you listen to you?

Specifically, some of you, like me, have many different tiny people running around on the inside of your brain. Some are brave and kind, many more are anxious and scowling.

In an attempt to calm them, you might be telling these freaked-out minis things like, “Don’t worry! I really want to write my book draft. I have the motivation! This is the year we get it done!”

You may even attempt to order them around: “When you pipe up it derails me and I need to focus. Could you stop?”

But, they do not listen. Why don’t they listen?

They’re rebels!

But maybe also... before you ask them to listen to you, do all these tiny people in your brain feel heard by you?

What about those especially twitchy ones who constantly change their minds about your entire book topic, just when you’ve made some headway?

“Yes,” you can tell them, “I know you're scared this commitment will be a complete waste of time. I know you’d rather write no book than get 25,000 words in and somehow realize we’re working on the wrong book. I hear you.”

What happens when you make your little brain people feel heard?

…

Maybe this is too esoteric for you. How about this, then? Instead of plunging into writing with no prep, write an outline first.

Use the outlining process as a way to make your inner scowly people feel heard. Get all their thoughts out, gather everything, and have a conversation with them as you shuffle your material into an organization.

Don’t outline because you should, or because you want your book’s form and organization to be set in stone (because it won’t be).

Outline because…

If you’re not taking the time to listen to yourself, why would anyone else?

....​

If you want my quick tip on outlining a book, the reel is here: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CS-ezIDJ8M6/​

Maggie

PS: If you know you want to go deeper and go from book idea to book roadmap in 2022, that’s exactly what we’ll be working on in Book Breakthrough. I’ll be announcing the dates for the next round after the new year.

​Find out about Book Breakthrough and sign up to be notified here.

The right place to start your book

“Alex wheeled the Range Rover into the parking lot of MNY Bank. He grabbed his portfolio from the backseat and sprinted to the doors. A quick check of his watch made it official: 9:06 a.m. He was late—again.

***That’s the first paragraph of Built to Sell, a business book that could have been dry as dust. It’s also an example of beginning in medias res.

In medias res just means starting in the middle of the story. “Plunging into a crucial situation that is part of a related chain of events,” as Britannica says.

Maybe the book begins in the heat of an argument during a war that has already started (like the Iliad). Or it begins with the protagonist already in financial trouble, like the paragraph above.

***

The opposite of in medias res is ab ovo—”from the egg”—starting the story at the earliest chronological point.

Ab ovo: the place where many of my motivated, eager writing clients begin their books. “A very good place to start” as Fraulein Maria might say.

So what’s wrong with starting at the beginning?

These same eager writers don’t want to write a boring book. But telling a story in chronological order is a great way to write a book that’s... dry as dust. (I’m not saying if you’re writing a book that lays out a framework, that you shouldn’t tell it in order.)

But sometimes you actually do a better job of not only engaging, but also orienting the reader if you start the book in the middle of a high-stakes moment.

So, if I start reading “Alex wheeled the Ranger Rover etc... ,” what do I know already?

• Alex drives a nice car

• Alex runs late a lot

• Alex is at the bank… so we’re going to be talking about money.

But I’m also wondering:

• What does this have to do with the book’s title, Built to Sell?

• Why is Alex frantic?

• Is Alex in money trouble? But he drives a nice car?

***

As a reader, I’m engaged because I’m asking questions.

If the author had started with “Alex started his business in 1998. He offered branding services,” what questions would I, the reader, be asking?

🤔

When your reader is not asking questions, your in boring territory. Straightforward sequencing, drained of all suspense. Textbook.

In medias res allows you not to start not at the beginning, but at the time and place where your readers will actually care.

***

Maybe you’re not writing a book (yet). You can practice with social media posts.

Would you normally post something like,” “I was sitting with a friend, having coffee and we were talking about the holidays, when I said, ‘I hate Christmas.’”

What if you tried, “I hate the holidays.”

?

***

Important: no one nails in medias res in their first draft. When you physically sit down and begin to write, you need to write a few lines to warm up.

Go ahead, write first, finish your thought, then chop. Something like:

“I was sitting with a friend, having coffee and we were talking about the holidays, when I said, ‘I hate Christmas the holidays.”

If you need to edit your initial draft, that does not make you bad at writing. In fact, my point is you don’t need to be a “naturally” talented writer (whatever that is).

No doubt, some people have an instinct for how to tell a story that keeps the audience engaged.

But for the rest of us, we can learn storytelling devices and practice using them.

In medias res is one of those devices. Let me know if you use it this week?

- Maggie

PS:

Have you bought my book yet? Here are reviews from actual human readers (excerpted from Amazon)

“Maggie is not offering the ‘same old, same old’ writing advice.”

“This book was really, really good. Go buy a copy.”

“This book shows you how to do it and make it your own.”

Get the Kindle version (book only)​

Get the PDF Version (plus a mini-course and live help from me.)

PPS: I don’t hate the holidays. It’s just an example!

So you're thinking about writing about your life

Here’s a questions I get a lot from clients who want to write books about their lives:

“What should I do if I have stories that will make some people in my life look bad? Can I write about my memories without hurting other people’s feelings?”

***

Many writers don’t want the blowback from real, live people. So, they attempt to write about their lives, but leave out the stories that might make people—real, nonfiction humans—feel bad.

This attempt puts them in conflict with themselves, so they often end up writing along the edges of what they want to say, like a wallflower at a dance club. (hand raised)

Which is fine for getting started on a book, but usually there’s a threshold they just can’t cross if they keep their back to the wall. And a lot of memoir writers get stuck and give up before they finish their first draft.

***

My way forward in answering this question for myself is to think about another question first.

What EVEN IS writing about my life?

I mean, when people say they want to write about their lives, they almost never mean they want to write an autobiography—that is, a record of the events of their life, told in chronological order.

What they want to write is a memoir. But not only is memoir not autobiography, memoir (contrary to what the name of the genre implies) is not even primarily a record of the author’s memories.

What? If it’s not a record of memories, then what is it?

Let’s unpack.

Memory itself is faulty and unreliable, so you won’t get an accurate record of what happened from your memories.

Consider this: The way you remember an event that happened to you at 5 when you are 40 is different from the way you remembered that event when you were 16.

And, as a 40-year-old, you remember both

1. the event that happened when you were 5, but also you remember

2. the way you remembered it at 16.

​
Confusing? Here’s what I’m saying:

Memory is faulty. (Any true crime fan knows eyewitness testimony is the most unreliable way to identify the perpetrator at any crime scene.)

***

So what is a memoir? A book of lies?

No.

A memoir is not an accurate record of what happened based on what you remember.

It’s an accurate record of your evolving understanding of what you remember.

This is an excerpt from a note on the text that appears at the end of Educated, a memoir by Tara Westover.

“We are all more complicated than the roles we are assigned in the stories other people tell. Nothing has revealed that truth to me more than writing this memoir—trying to pin down the people I love on paper, to capture the whole meaning of them in a few words, which is of course impossible. This is the best I can do: to tell that other story next to the one I remember.”

​
That "other story,” (in my view) is the author’s journey of understanding their own memories. An author’s commitment to taking their readers on that journey is often what gets them over the threshold, unstuck, so they can finish their book.

What do you think?

XO,

Maggie